Rubbish..

I hate rubbish. When I talk about rubbish, I remember something that makes me think that everything is rubbish. There’s no meaning of this entire thing, all my hard work, all my determination, my spirit, my physical force and also my soul. I really enjoy play volley ball, really enjoy it, how could something like that make me want to withdraw all my interest. This evening, I knew already I’m just a stupid person that wants to join their exercise and I got the wrong impression already in the beginning. I want to enjoy it, I want to learn more and I want to take action more than that, but can you please give me some space. Some space for me to improve myself. Rather than you expect me to be perfect and know how to play as an expert. But the reason I still went there and practice, that is because of my own desire, that want to play well in volley ball, I don’t intent to take part in competition or what, just for my own interest. I really won’t go there if my present seems like a burden for them to handle. I know they are preparing for KAGUM, and I really don’t want to disturb them that much. I just need a favor for them to help me while I’m following the exercise. I really don’t like this thing, and if I think through positive way, I know the answer already. Don’t make a scene, just for now, they need to concentrate on their practice. So, I will walk backward and let you guys pass through it although my heart ache very much, at the point that I can’t handle it and I don’t know what to do. Please, forgive me.